Death, Rebirth, Why Me?
by TammyHybrid21
Summary: He was supposed to die wasn't he? He was supposed to be dead, and this was supposed to be the Pure World. But apparently life isn't quite done with him, although he could do without the whole growing up again thing. Especially when he's his own sibling, and hey, he'd like an explanation for the whole wrong gender thing as well.
1. Prologue

**Notes:** Hello, and welcome to the companion half of  Ninja Stealth Art. This is all from Tomoko's point of view. So yeah. I decided to write a bit more of the story, to explain a few things from the other side. Also it feels like a good idea considering the current arc. Having some extra explanation and another perspective.

So enjoy learning more about who Tomoko is in the context of the story. Also blah, blah afterlife stuff. This is only an introduction after all, also first person for reasons.

* * *

Prologue

Death actually isn't as bad as I'm expecting it to be. I can feel it as my skin peels and flakes away, crumbling to nothing more than dust but I force a smile and look back at the boy who's freed me. To the man who's changed me, to the world that I'm leaving behind this time around. Maybe I'm a villain, maybe I'm the bad guy but I can still be thankful, I can still be grateful and I ask them to keep going.

Because their way was the right one in the end.

How far I fell, only to end up doing the right thing after all. So I die with a smile and fall. I don't expect to be able to open my eyes again. So when I do it's a shock, and I can't help but gasp and stare at the person in front of me.

"Rin..."

We talk for a while before I realize that Kakashi still needs my help. So I take a breath(even though I probably don't need to) and go to help him. It's strange. Because even after all this time, I suppose that Rin's right. We are friends in a way... Not. There's no way that we can ever get along properly, not really. But we do care for one another I suppose. We're team mates, and besides, I would hate to see him die.

So I transport myself there and arrive with a simple statement.

"Before I go to the other world, I figured that I'd come back to remind you not to follow after me anytime soon! I did just give you that eye as a present for becoming a Jonin after all... If you returned it so soon, it just wouldn't be right."

"Obito... You..." I quickly cut him off, I don't want to get too caught up in the sappy stuff now, the world needs to be saved.

"Not that I'll be waking up to this world anymore anyways... Regardless... What I wanted to talk about... I told Naruto a while back to become Hokage. The Seventh Hokage, that is. The Sixth Hokage needs to be you, Kakashi." I pause for a few moments relishing his shock before continuing "Although you haven't taken the position officially yet, I wanted to give you your congratulations present ahead of time. It may only be temporary, but it's far from useless... You know what I'm talking about, right?" Here I once more pause, I don't know if he'll keep them forever, but still. I take a deep breath and continue, "...You haven't forgotten how your name resounds even across foreign lands? The name 'Kakashi of the Sharingan'!"

That last job done I rejoin Rin and give her a wide beaming grin. She smiles back at me, that familiar smile that makes something in me twist and then she's moving. I have to follow, over the featureless place as she walks.

As we walk and then she pauses.

"Obito... There's something I need to talk to you about." that tone sounds like trouble and I pause looking at her back unsure. "Even though you've taken a step towards redemption... it's not enough." I blink, because what does that mean. "From here you have a choice, kind of... Do you keep going into the pure land, or do you go back?" she turns around and there's something in her eyes that makes me want to turn around and Run for the hills.

This isn't right.

I'm supposed to die now, the end. Nothing more, nothing about going back.

"What do you mean Rin? Why's it not enough?" I ask trying to understand.

"There's a lot of people who hate you Obito..." yeah well that's to be expected, I mean I did set the Kyubi off on Konoha, I did push the Akatsuki to capture the Jinchuriki, I started the Forth Shinobi War, the Uchiha Massacre... Although that was kind of already happening I just helped it along... "You wouldn't be able to be happy here Obito. But there is a second option. You could go back. Of course it wouldn't be the exact same."

"What do you mean Rin? Why wouldn't it be the same..." She laughs and I really feel like running. Slowly she stretches one hand out to the side and lowers it and the white expanse beside her shifts and ripples.

An image forms and I'll be perfectly honest, I gape. It's the image of a hospital I think. And sitting in one of the chairs is me, a much younger me but still me. The me there is surprisingly contained and I look over at Rin confused. She simply shakes her head and I blink before turning back to the image. It's still the same, a younger me(though not wearing any clothing that I really recognise) sitting in the hospital.

He seems perfectly content, and then Kakashi comes in. I frown and then I'm surprised when the Hatake boy sits down beside the me in the image who grins and then moves his hands in a strange pattern only to have Kakashi laugh(actually laugh) and then respond with something in kind. It's strange and foreign and I can't believe that I'm watching it. Slowly I straighten and look at Rin with a question on the tip of my tongue.

"You won't end up in that exact world... but... if you do choose to go back. Things will change." she is rubbing one arm and not looking at me. "Also Obito, if you do choose to go, when you die there. You won't return to this part of the afterlife."

"WHAT?" I shout and straighten up abruptly not exactly excited to hear that. It would mean that I wouldn't get to see her again, or wait around for Kakashi so that I could finally use the late line on him like he always used to do when we were kids. "But... but, that would mean..."

"Oh you would still be able to visit. But you wouldn't be connected to our section, you wouldn't be a permanent resident" she smiles at me again and I can only stare with no words to say. I can't say a word. There's nothing that I can say. "Don't worry though. I'll still be watching over you Obito. Always!" she says and I can't help it I close my eyes with the faintest sparkle of tears that gather.

"Of course Rin! I understand."

I nod my head and then open my eyes back up. I look one more time at the image. The other me is now with the whole team. His Rin, his Kakashi, and Kushina? I rub my eyes and stare but the image doesn't change. That's okay I guess, unexpected, but okay. I look once more at Rin and she looks even more serious than she did when she promised to watch over me originally. Grim and serious.

She takes a hold of my arm and drags me off again, the image of the other world disappearing with a ripple as she steps right through it. I stare back at it for a second before simply following after her.

There's a gate ahead of us but she stops and instead walks towards a plain dull grey door. She gives me a look before raising a hand and knocking on the door. It's thrown open by Minato-sensei, or a Minato-sensei anyway. I can see another two from where I'm standing, among other vaguely familiar faces. There's a couple Hiruzens in there and a few people who I don't recognise at all... And an Orochimaru?

"Hey Sensei!" Rin chirps from beside me and all of the Minatos in view call out cheerfully.

"Hi Rin!" in response. I honestly don't know how this could get any weirder really. Rin continues to smile and offer greetings as she pulls me along through this building and finally to a door where a man in a fullbody red outfit sits on the desk talking to who has to be the Shinigami, or Death, or I don't know. Especially since I thought that I saw several shinigami so far. Also, the person there is a girl.

Death is a girl... Who knew?

Rin stands there and the man turns and basically goes "Whoa! So that's the one who almost destroyed the world once?" Okay what? When did that happen. "Anyway, I'm only here for another month I think... And then I'll go back to doing what I do best!" he says and I look over to Rin, only she's already deep in discussion with the other person. "But hey! Just between you and me, I'm sure that being your own sibling won't be that bad. I mean yeah it will be confusing but... Oh. Wait, I think that might be a spoiler... Oh good luck anyway!"

"What..."

"Obito! Come on, it's time to go... here" Rin grabs me by the arm and shows me to a swirling blue and white portal. "Good luck Obito." she wraps her arms around me and then steps back and disappears. I look around one last time before taking a deep breath and stepping through...

 _And then I forget... I forget the pure land, but in the warmth and the dark I still remember that..._ _ **I died**_ _._


	2. Chapter One

Chapter One: Ready, Set, Reset

My first few months in this second life can be scratched up to confusing. Maybe it's because I remain in a mixed state of denial and anger but it takes me a fair while to actually get away from the fact that I had died... and well start to realize what's actually going on.

It takes me until my twin, my double or replacement really begins to roll around. I blink everytime he rolls over and offers me a smile with sparkling new teeth. Of course the fact that I'm my own twin isn't the biggest shock. No, the biggest one is down lower. Currently hidden by diapers but still distinctly wrong and off. I'm in the wrong body.

I. Am. Not. A. Girl. Yet I am...

It's horrible and awkward and whenever changing time comes around I focus entirely on my mother's face. On her smile and soft brown eyes and hair. It's amazing, to be able to actually meet my parents. My hahaue and my chichiue, and I suppose to a lesser degree my younger alternate self is also amazing to be around. Even if he mostly drools or laughs and manages to get into more trouble than I ever thought possible.

It's terrifying. And it also kind of puts things into perspective. I was admittedly rather horrible in my previous life, what with the whole trying to take over the world with the moon thing. I was horrible, the worst and I honestly don't think that I deserve this second chance. A twin who mostly just kind of flops over me and drools, or grins at me and parents who do so much just for us.

At least now, I have a chance to really fix things.

And, as I watch my younger alternative self happily chew on a rubber kunai that our mother gave him I can prevent his future fate. I can stop him from making the same mistakes that I made. He won't be going to Madara and then seeing his best friend(and crush) die at Kakashi's hand.

Now if only I could actually get some semblance of control over this new body. It's frustrating honestly, I will admit that I love my parents, our parents. And I'm... grateful for this chance but the lack of control is absolutely infuriating. And terrifying anyone could just dispose of us like this.

At least my twin seems entertained by the whole mess of learning to crawl and feed himself. Shoving stuff into his mouth or tossing food at our hahaue and chichiue who give indulgent smiles and patiently clean up whatever mess that he leaves.

They're awesome. Our parents, I can't help but love them. The way that they both put up with our toddler antics... Yet I know, we don't have long with them. I was an orphan in my previous life, sure I had obaachan, but... it's nothing compared to having my parents. So I bask in their attention. I bask and I do my best to commit the faces and scents of our parents to memory.

Chichiue's strange smoky scent and his rough but gentle hands. The way he keeps his head shorter than most, and his dark eyes and the laugh lines around them. Hahaue's soft hands, and the floral scent that follows her around, the brown hair and brown eyes...

I do my best to engulf myself in them.

To remember.

Aside from that, I am a fussy child. Beyond the annoyance of having my teeth just growing in there is the looming threat of the future. Madara and Zetsu... Danzo as well. I hopefully will be able to scratch my alternate self off that list before anything bad happens. Because I'm here, I'll protect him. He's my otouto after all. As an older sibling it's my duty to protect him and keep him safe. Especially from those people who'll try to corrupt and control him in the future.

Maybe I'll add Orochimaru to the list of potential problems...

Anyway, even though we're not even one yet I'm pushing myself much harder than I ever really did in my previous life... Well not counting my time spent training under Madara. But I don't think that really counts. Crawling is much harder than I ever really expected and my chubby limbs are absolutely no help at all.

Hahaue at least helps a little by making sure that the ground beneath me is soft. And she smiles and lifts me up to hold me in her arms whenever I give up. Meanwhile Obito is happy just lying where he is and only rolling around or waving his limbs in the air over him entertained.

As we're settled in our cribs night after night though I'm forced to listen to words of nonsense from my twin. Some strange language that he repeatedly speaks night after night.

I can almost understand it after a few days... A few nights waking up from nightmares where pain is all I know and I can't breath and screaming does nothing but make it hurt more...

And without fail Obito's talking to himself. Repeating things and staring right at me without blinking. Completely still aside from his moving mouth that speaks in a language that I'm almost sure that I've never heard before. At least, I've never heard it from my own mouth. But, distantly it's familiar to me. There might have been a single encounter with someone who spoke it.

But in the dark of night, with only a faint glow from the moon it's eerie to hear the words that my twin speaks.

In these moments I almost don't want to call him my otouto, because it's scary.

I don't know how to understand it.

And yet, the days following I begin to angrily mutter some of those same nonsense words under my breath as I stand on wobbly legs and tentatively take small steps of my own. They're awkward, and tentative but I'm actually beginning to succeed.

I'm actually walking, kind of anyway...

And with that hurdle crossed I start to pay just a little bit more attention to my twin. My younger alternative self and...

It's strange. He's strange. Aside from the eerie way that he talks at night he's every bit of the infant that he appears. He makes messes and drools on everything. Rolls around and gets into trouble without trying... He doesn't try to walk and the only thing that caught my attention in regards to strange advances in development was the time I caught him using chakra to kind of crawl up to a high shelf...

That kind of explained how he kept ending up in such high places but the how of it kind of escapes me.

Also, he understands.

It's subtle, but as I watch him. He knows, he knows something and he has these small tells. The way that he frowns at the food that we're fed. The way that he's already using chakra(which is also really, _really_ dangerous!). The way that he meets my eyes and just grins.

He's clearly different.

I don't know how to feel about that. I don't know what it is that he knows. What makes him different, because all these things are so small and aside from them... He acts just like an innocent and oblivious child. Laughing and playing, rolling around and happily playing with his rubber kunai.

And then our first birthday comes around.

I'm not exactly excited for the day. My birthdays weren't exactly known for being the best. In fact they always tended to be the worst day of the year...

Then again, this is a new life. A new world. A new chance. Maybe they'll be better. So I brighten up as the party goes on and new faces and people show up to talk about me and my otouto. To say how adorable we both are and smile at us. To talk to our parents. It all seems pretty great and I stare at the man with blue hair, and the silver haired man who practically screams Hatake to me.

I don't know what I was really expecting though. As the night wares on and on it all seems pretty great. Hahaue picks me up and starts talking with her own Aneki, and I allow my eyes to half close and a thumb to snake into my mouth.

I'm... happy I guess. And I really wish that things could stay this way forever.

Well, I also wish that people would stop calling me an adorable little girl, such a precious child. That's going to get really old, really quickly. As soon as I'm able to I will be making sure that people know that I am definitely not a girl. I'm a boy, always have been and always will be.

Distantly I'm aware of Obito resting happily in our chichiue's arms. He almost looks asleep himself.

Today has been a rather long day all things considered.

We deserve a break now. I close my eyes and smile...

Only there's something wrong. With my head so close to Hahaue's chest I'm able to pick up the faintest faltering of the steady beat in her chest. NONonononnnonoonononononononno... My fist tightens in the fabric of her shirt and I can feel my breath catch in my throat this can't be happening.

This can't fucking be happening.

Please, please... Life can't be this cruel. Also no wonder all my birthdays were so horrible. If my first fucking one was celebrated with Hahaue's death.

And then Obito proceeds to also have some kind of fit and that drags me back into reality as I stare at him with terror in my eyes. His eyes have squeezed themselves shut, he's whimpering and then he starts to choke and I can't help it. The faint buzz of emotions, the faint link that we've shared since been born.

I send my desperate plea for him to just live down it.

Still the fit that he's having spurs everyone into action. The next thing I know I'm sitting in chichiue's lap hand fisting his shirt as we stare at my otouto resting in a hospital bed... And slowly he breaths out and then back in his eyes blinking themselves open.

He gives another whimper and wriggles a bit before lifting his head just enough to look in our direction.

It's such a relief, but I still can't keep the fear and terror out of my eyes.

I almost lost two people in one move.

Hahaue's still dead, but at least Obito's recovering from his fit and we'll still have chichiue for as long as he lives. Which will still be shorter than the amount of time it'll take for us to have our second birthday. And I'm going to once more absolutely loathe reality because of that. It's not fair at all.

It's not fair that we should have to be orphans. Especially as I watch Obito play happily with chichiue innocent and smiling even after having a fit...

Even after been rushed to the hospital. I have to wonder though, did I ever have a similar fit in my previous life. I certainly don't remember ever having one... Then again most of my pre-Kannabi memories were kind of shot to hell considering that I had to have half my body replaced by something that was almost plant matter and that's not even considering the damage that the boulder done and the fact that I'm pretty sure I was medically dead for at least a couple of minutes before Madara woke me back up.

There was more luck involved in that entire situation than skill on his part honestly.

And as Obito laughs and snuggles down into the sheets and pillows around him my resolve to keep him safe only strengthens.

Sure he's different and weird, and hell if he doesn't kind of creep me out with the way that he acts at night... But he's still my otouto and my Obito. So I'll do my best to be the best Aniki possible. I'll protect him and shield him and he won't have to worry about anything with me here.

A few months later and it's time to say goodbye to our chichiue for the rest of our lives. The moment that he says to us that he's going to be visiting someone in Uzushiogakure I know... He's not going to come home again. Uzushiogakure will fall, and we're going to be in Obaachan's care for a lot longer than chichiue ever intended.

At least until she eventually joins him in a few years.

But we'll be fine. We'll be fine.

I still sit in the dark curling in on myself in my crib trying to hold back the tears threatening to spill down my cheeks and stain the white sheets I'm sitting atop. I can't quite do it though and I sniff. I sniff and the tears fall staining my cheeks and the sheets as I wipe my sleeves over my face and hope that I haven't woken my twin up.

Hope that I haven't disturbed him from where he's sleeping in his own crib across the room.

He shifts and sits up looking over at me and my heart sinks. Of course I have... And then he opens his mouth and hell...

"Sorry..." no fucking way! There's no way that he can just do that. I straighten and stare my own coal eyes meeting his onyx ones. He doesn't take the word back though and I can almost see it hanging in the air between us. He can't do that, he can't mean that. He's not at fault for anything here. Before I can try to explain that to him though he continues "Still Sorry..."

And then Obito's shoved his fist into his mouth and I know. I won't be able to get him to do anything more.

He won't elaborate, he won't explain. He's just apologized for something that he couldn't possibly understand and it chills me right to the core.

I'm not certain that this isn't Hell.

Not anymore. Then again, in many ways reality is worse than Hell... and somehow that makes me curl up and roll over purposefully not facing my twin as he begins to once more speak those nonsense words into the night.

Yet now I'm able to understand more. It's chilling terrifying and I don't quite know what to expect or what I'm getting into.

It's said that in Hell there's at least no one who's innocent, who can get caught in the crossfire. So reality is worse, and right now... I'm actually kind of hoping that this is hell. And not reality, because suddenly, my twin is a lot scarier than I ever was... even when I was a S-Class Nukenin.

My name... My name was once Uchiha Obito, and now... in this new life it's Uchiha Tomoko.

And I don't know if I'll be able to change anything. But, I'll try because, I need to prove to myself that I can do better.


	3. Chapter Two

Chapter Two: Secret Keeper

I think that I need a secret keeper... Or I'll need one in the future anyway.

Rin-chan... My mind automatically flips to her. Even though we've yet to meet in this lifetime and hell, I'm only just getting the hang of walking, and I'm only just two. Obito's as goofy as ever as well and it's life. Also he's gotten into the habit of covering the walls with ink and scribbles. Often those scribbles extend to his skin as well... it makes me grimace.

We're Uchiha, that's not the kind of behaviour that is expected of us.

I don't think that he really cares though. Too happy making messes and grinning and then dragging Obaachan over to show off his work. At least she's patient with us. With him especially, she gives a small indulgent smile and then instructs him to clean it up.

Always he gives a huge beaming smile in response and happily sets to cleaning up whatever mess there is. And always, I sit and watch.

I watch over him, and try my best to keep him out of trouble... which honestly doesn't work very well. I don't get too upset about it though, I mean at this point it really isn't anything big. Maybe tracking mud through the house from the yard, or breaking a vase(or two, or three...). Or that memorable occasion that left the kitchen covered in a fine covering of white... whether that was flour, sugar or some other powdery substance I still don't know.

It's all I'm able to do at this point. He's innocent after all, and honestly as long as he's grinning and having fun I don't want to hold him back too much.

Although I still do have to question the moments that I catch him playing with his chakra. Making it light up on his hands or sticking things to himself. Crawling along the walls, just notable enough to make me wonder.

To make me wonder how and why? What is it that's different about him from who I was previously. What's given him this ability to just casually use his chakra in that way?

What?

Or was it always that way and I've just forgotten as I've grown up. Have I just forgotten the stuff that came second nature to me as a small child learning about the world the only way that he knew how. Through exploration.

Although, even with that there are disadvantages. As I watch him, and focus, following the link and buzz in the back of my head I begin to understand. He's happy, he's sad, scared and joyful all at once and then disgusted and confused in quick succession. Trying to keep up with the flow that his emotions take is another exercise in futility.

Yet I still try. It confirms and dismisses several things.

He knows something. Though what, and how I don't know. But at the same time, he's more than innocent, finding awe and amazement in things that I dismiss on one hand. His chakra especially, and the toy weapons that Obaachan has given us.

I really need a secret keeper. I'll probably tell him sometime in the future, but honestly... not anytime soon.

He's just too innocent.

So's Rin, but she's also good at understanding. Which is what a secret keeper needs to be. Maybe she won't entirely get it, but she's still really, really good at understanding.

And then Obaachan catches my attention with a green dress. I pale, and pull a face glancing from the dress up to her face. No, no, fucking no she is not going to get me to wear that. I howl and attempt to flee. The key word there being attempt.

It fails and she easily catches me and scoops me up. My twin looks up with a strange expression on his face, and a weird echo of longing down the link.

I do not understand that. Why would he want to be in my position. Flailing and loudly disagreeing with the notion of wearing a dress. I hate dresses, and pink and the very fact that I have a stinking vagina instead of my familiar dick.

I kind of hate not been Obito anymore... at least I've gotten used to responding to my new name. Mostly...

That doesn't mean that I'm happy about the sheer wrongness of my body though. It's uncomfortable and itchy yet I can't do anything about it. So I have to deal with being dressed up in frilly and poofy dresses, in pink and purple and light blue. I have to deal with the awkwardness of the toilet, and the fact that my body just isn't the same. It's not something that I think that I'll ever really get used to. I can cope with losing my name, it's not like I really used it that much anyway.

 _I'm no one... I don't want to be anyone._

My own words echo in the back of my mind and I let out a huff as Obaachan finishes tying the ribbon around the light green dress that I'm wearing. I grimace at it, at least it's better than pink but still. All dresses are uncomfortable. I shake my head rapidly at least glad that I can get away with having short hair at this age.

I tug a bit at the ribbon and the bottom the dress anyway before closing my eyes and taking a deep breath.

I shouldn't put any more stress on Obaachan. She doesn't need to be sent to the grave any sooner than she already will. She doesn't need me adding to her problems. She doesn't need us pulling off any more insane stunts. I release the breath and feel for the faint buzz and connection in the back of my head.

It's funny, because I can still remember my initial confusion at the connection. Sure now I use it automatically. Reaching out to him, to track his mood and emotions and to make sure he's still there. But originally. I didn't understand why it was there.

I was reborn, reincarnated. So why would I have a twin link to someone who probably would never be able to understand? And yet, now it's reassuring. I know what it is and it comforts me. And yet right now the link is silent. A familiar silence, he's playing with his chakra again, and sharpening the silence.

It's alienating when this happens honestly.

Because I don't remember being able to ever do what he does. His chakra tricks and the ability to hide it all somewhere deep within him. I still can't do that actually. I would blame Madara, but I don't think that this is his fault. Maybe it's because I died once already, or who knows. I just can't do that.

I take another deep breath and then puff it out crossing my arms angrily over my chest expression twisting up into a scowl.

Time to go looking for him. The closer I am, the more the silence will fade in the connection. Because his chakra empowers it, or our proximity. One or the other. But either way it kind of means that I have a twin tracker. So I take another deep breath drop my arms and focus on the feelings from the connection as I begin to stalk around the house looking for Obito.

And yet, as I walk around the house, I still can't quite seem to find him. That makes something twist in me. What if something's happened?

Danger still lurks just out of view after all. Kuro, who's definitely already watching. That blasted being from before time... And who knows whether or not Madara is already watching in his own way, through the rather extensive honestly network that he seems to have. It's worrying and at this point I'm sure that if things change, everything could get set off early.

I won't let it though.

I grind my teeth a bit as I look around for Obito, getting more and more worried with unease twisting in my gut and a chill clinging to my body.

Though that could also be dysphoria, or discomfort due to the dress... I dunno.

A door ahead of me swings open and I lift my head eyes widening as I come face to face with my twin. We both blink in unison before I scowl at him and he closes his eyes giving me a huge grin. He's happy with himself the little jerk. And yet I can't really stay mad at him, normally I am better at finding him after all.

So he deserves to be happy because I couldn't. Also, I know I passed the particular closet he was actually hiding in several times. Something has to have thrown me off...

I don't know what. But something must have.

Because the alternative is kind of terrifying to think of. What if I'm losing that connection to him, if I'm losing the ability to find him... but I can't be. After all the dreams still come and we know each other in that weird way.

And then he tilts his head and grins at me. A goofy look, and I can feel myself puff up in a bit of annoyance with their antics. He's so immature.

Of course he really can't help it. After all, he's not like me. He _can't_ be like me. This has to be his first go around and he's an innocent little toddler just learning about the world. At least I hope that he is, because to think otherwise feels incredibly weird. To even imagine otherwise, it feels weird and I find myself scowling slightly as Obito laughs and cheerfully slides down to crawl away. To crawl right over to Obaachan.

It's strange really, because I can't really recall paying Obaachan that much attention in my previous life.

I can't remember it. Like I can't understand where some of the stranger dreams come from in my mind. White walls and people poking at me. A strange tightness in the chest and a desperate struggle against something that no one else seems to be able to see, to understand.

I really, really need someone to talk to about this.

I'm not exactly used to feeling like I need to talk to someone though. Madara taught me to hide and use my emotions to drive me forwards. Rage and anger, and grief to add power to my movements and attacks. Rin though always asked me to not hide my pain, don't hide it. And Obito's said the same a few times, he watches with eyes that just know.

 _You don't need to hide it..._

It's not something I'm used to after my previous life. And even as a child, after Obaachan died I wore a mask. A smile and laughter over the top antics. It's easy to misdirect people just enough and yet Obito knows. Rin could always tell and here and now I know, I know I'm going to need someone who will be able to at least understand.

Otherwise boredom is going to take over, or discomfort, or who knows.

"Kyoudai!" and then there was that...

I narrow my eyes just ever so faintly at Obito as he calls me. Carefully choosing a neutral term rather than calling Neechan, or Aneki. As if he knows that I don't like it, as if he knows that I'm not the precious little girl that I appear as. Especially when wearing such frilly dresses like the one Obaachan has me wearing now.

"Kyoudai!" he calls again and I roll my eyes before toddling over ready to ask what he wants.

Only to get caught in a hug... and I can't help it if I stiffen just slightly. I can't help it if I still have trouble with displays of affection like this. Madara was not exactly the most positive influence. Not that I had ever really gotten hugs like this in my previous life anyway. Maybe a couple from Kushina-nee when she got caught up in her enthusiasm. Minato-sensei was more for ruffling my hair affectionately.

"Kyoudai, needs more hugs..." Obito grumbles his hands fisting the dress and his mouth pulling together into this pout that makes me want to laugh. But I only feel my own expression tugging into a half-grin at the disgruntlement that he's showing.

"Maybe later Otouto." I say and he looks even more disgruntled as I gently remove his arms from around me and look up at Obaachan. I can still feel the smile on my face and then it slowly slips away. I'm actually really nervous, as I slowly stretch my arms out to her. Asking to be picked up. Obito instantly mimics me and his eyes are wide and hopeful.

Obaachan laughs and slowly shakes her head before kneeling down and lifting us both up from the ground.

It's comforting really and I rest my head against Obaachan's shoulder hands curling into the fabric of her jacket while Obito curls his head up into a position that's a bit closer to her chest. He's innocent, seeking some form of comfort from the position. I can see the way that he smiles and sleepily blinks and honestly. I think that he's drifting off to sleep where he is. Drifting off to sleep finding comfort from whatever it is that he has found in that position.

I don't get it.

He does it whenever we end up snuggling up with Obaachan. Whether it's after nightmares with confusing images. Standing across from a figure that I can almost remember, with blood flowing between us a river in a barren landscape. Or beeping from hospital equipment or ones where I wake up and still feel like I can't quite breath.

I don't intentionally seek out comfort after such nightmares.

No matter what my actions might lead people to believe. I don't seek out comfort, Obito usually drags me along with him to find Obaachan. I guess I just go along with him because it's still so strange to be back here. Even in a different body, a different life to live and experience. I sigh and close my eyes as well. Deep breaths, memorizing that familiar scent of family.

Home and the love that we share I suppose.

It's comforting in it's own way.

And maybe one day I'll finally be able to share all this with someone who'll serve as a secret keeper. It likely will be Rin though. Even if this Rin won't be the one I remember. She'll be different, someone new. Not the one who I grew up with in my original life, she'll still be Rin. A different Rin, who understands things slightly different.

But I made a promise.

 _Please don't hide your wounds Obito-kun._

 _Okay, I promise Rin-chan._

And isn't this weird reincarnation a wound all of it's own?

I won't break that promise a second time. I won't hide my wounds and chase an impossible, false promise made by a madman. And, I open my eyes just enough to look over at my Otouto. At Obito who's happy sleeping with a smile curling over his face. A smile that shows peace and happiness comfort and hope. Stability.

My hands tighten their fists just slightly.

I'm not going to allow anyone, or anything to steal that smile away from my Otouto. No matter what the future of this second life holds. Obito's not going to lose that smile or his innocence.

I won't let him.


	4. Chapter Three

Chapter Three: Routine

I stare in a weird kind of fascination at Obito as he happily and eagerly falls into our calligraphy lessons. As he eagerly seems to soak them up like a sponge and repeatedly writes out his name over and over filling entire scrolls with just the characters of his own name. I honestly don't get it.

Why calligraphy of all things?

And then he starts to weave other things. As soon as he starts to grasp the characters better. As his handwriting improves by leaps and bounds while mine still looks like Itachi's finger-painting. And what he does with the characters is honestly terrifying.

He doesn't realize, doesn't understand but the patterns that fall from his brush remind me too easily of winding, dancing seals and pieces of fuinjutsu that Minato-sensei would show us. Or that Kushina-nee would share with us, or scrolls that I dug out of the ruins of Uzushiogakure. Kamui was useful for stuff like that.

A so I continue to find myself gently tugging Obito's hands away from the paper.

I know that it's not likely that he'll ever lose control. But at the same time, when I watch him just paint the words and patterns all I can imagine is a small slip. A single miscalculated moment and then everything would be going up in smoke. I would be losing everything again and there would be nothing that I could do.

So I gently pull his attention away from what he's doing and try to find something to distract him with. Something that will keep his attention for longer than a couple of minutes.

"Obito!" I actually hear him sigh and see the slight roll of his eyes before he focuses on me. "It's dangerous!" not really but, I'm so fearful. So terrified that it would really only take one mistake. All he does is roll his eyes, pick his brush back up and return to the paper in front of him. "Obito please"

He doesn't even raise his head to respond to me. Eyes and focus on the paper in front of him as he answers with a familiar response.

"Leash!"

I grimace and huff crossing my arms in displeasure before getting up. I'm going to find Obaachan. I could probably lay off the worry for a while but really I just can't help it. My footsteps are light as I drift from room to room looking for Obaachan.

When I find her I actually briefly pause in the doorway because she's actually relaxed. Smiling and sitting in her chair and reading one of her books. The ones that I never really read myself, the ones I sometimes used to distract Obito when I remembered they existed.

"Obaachan! Obito's doing it again!" I sound so much like a Gaki when I complain like this.

I can hear her sigh and she looks over at me with a look that's almost resigned. I refuse to look away and keep my expression as it is. Which is half worried and half-annoyed.

"Obaachan please..." I sound so petulant and she smiles indulgently at me before standing up and walking over gently running a hand over my hair before walking down the hall. I smile in success before following after her and when she opens the room that Obito's still in I peer around her rather smug in that success.

"Obito"

He looks up at the call of his name and I can see the brief expression of displeasure that crosses his face before he drops his brush and scoops up whatever it is he's been working on.

He looks about as resigned as Obaachan did earlier... Am I getting that predictable?

"Harmless! See" he says also moving just enough to let Obaachan see the other papers scattered on the tatami floor. I peer at it and, there's a dog guarding a candle from a cheeky mouse. Or something like that anyway.

It's a short story. Just like what all the others have been. Truly it is harmless but that's always the lingering fear that one day it won't be.

"Obito!" It's not really disapproving but Obito still takes a deep breath that he blows out before repeating the rule.

"I know. I know... Don't write patters without someone watching" it's really clear and he's frowning. Making a familiar grumpy pout face that makes me want to say that it's alright. One day when we're older he'll be able to make all the patterns and stories that he wants.

Just not today, or while we're under the age of seven. I think that I would get too stressed out if that were to keep happening.

I can feel Obito's displeasure through the bond. Especially as he pokes at it with his emotions on purpose. Another way of pouting really and I purposefully ignore it. I've grown used to ignoring his antics through the bond. It's, strengthened really over the years.

Probably because we both have been poking and using it and maintaining it.

Yet most times the small mental battles that we get into through the link are won by him. And it's not like I can even justify it by claiming that I let him win. Because he actually wins them fair and square, usually with things that then get stuck in my head for hours on end like a repeating tune or song and I always find myself stuck with a goofy smile on my face because of it.

Because how can't I?

How can't I when he's clearly testing his limits and pushing the boundaries. Where I stop to think, to plan at least a little bit he just keeps charging ahead after a couple of moments deliberation. And, he often seems to unconsciously mimic Obaachan. I've seen him match his steps with hers and his body language as well.

It's honestly adorable, and kind of terrifying because he's better at it than I ever was or have been.

He's near silent when wandering around the house. More stealthy and subtle than I ever was and often I have to focus to keep track of him even when he's not suppressing his chakra. Because he's that good at blending in. It's a good skill to have, but at the same time it's a dangerous one because being in the background means that people forget that you're there until you talk or suddenly need to answer a question.

"No Obito. How's about you try practicing some of those stretches I showed you?" I'm brought back out of my musings but Obaachan's voice and I look between her and Obito where he is making puppy eyes. He juts his lip out and Obaachan laughs. It's a nice laugh, light, happy and free. A laugh that warms something deep inside me and makes me glad that this is the way that things are this time around. "Come on now Obito. Surely you don't want Tomoko to overtake you?"

She didn't!

I look at him and his eyes have narrowed into a determined glare that meets my gaze. Challenging and defiant. Mine isn't quite the same but it passes for it, Obito's on his feet in moments and dashing down the hall to practice. I smile and half shake my head in amusement before following after him.

It's easy enough to begin the stretches. Arms up and reaching to the sky, twisting and rolling my muscles and shaking off a bit when switching some of them. Tumbles are also fun, duck and roll, this is how you roll properly to stay on your feet. No falling into the dirt for me. Unlike Obito who often tends to meet the dirt with aggression that spikes through the bond that we share.

Annoyance as well.

With the whole thing in fact.

I think that he knows exactly what this is training us for. What it's setting up. Potentially shinobi. Potentially Military Police. Although seriously, who wants to be a policeman? I know that it's an important job but honestly, I don't understand the draw. And Obito very clearly doesn't as he's always pulling a face whenever the senior officers of the Clan pass our house or drop in for a visit.

He's not impressed.

Then again, he also doesn't seem that impressed by the shinobi that we've met thus far either. Except Obaachan.

He only seems to be impressed by Obaachan. I actually vaguely feel the same way. In all honesty... up until now, we haven't really met anyone who's that impressive. In fact, everyone that we've met have been rank and file. Eternal genin, or eternal chunin. One or the other but it doesn't matter because ultimately it adds up the same way.

Unimpressive.

They're just fodder, the kind of shinobi that I would have torn through like paper in my previous life. As _no one_ ,as _Tobi_.

Obito still tires too easily anyway. Quickly reaching the point where he stops to instead munch on the cookies and drink the lemonade that Obaachan has brought out for us to enjoy. And so as soon as I finish the portion of snacks that were mine I leap back into my training. Preparing for the future. For the challenges that we're going to face.

It's not even just the Academy that I'm scared of.

I can handle the Academy. I've been through it before. Running late all day everyday because I used to help everyone on the way. But no, it's what lies after the Academy that scares me. And what might await Obito especially since he's different to how I remember being.

And maybe that's my fault.

Maybe it's my fault that Obito likes books and calligraphy rather than running around and shouting to Obaachan that he'll change the world. That he can do things, that he'll train and train until he's lying in the mud exhausted and day dreaming about what it will be like in the Academy. Maybe it's my fault that he hasn't started running off every now and again and exploring the compound to just see our cousins and watch them.

It's funny though, because I never actually approached any of our cousins. I would watch them, mimic them and make decisions based on what I saw... but I never approached them.

And even in the Academy, Rin became my friend originally because she approached me.

And I don't know how to feel about it. Because I can remember doing laps of the compound at this age(although it might have been when I was slightly older...).

Obito finishes his glass and lets out a sigh before placing it down beside him. He leaps to his feet and I notice the way that he automatically slides into a stance and takes a deep breath to prepare himself. I see it and something in me twists. Because that's not how I remember training, not really and it's strange and odd and I have to wonder how much of it is because of my presence here.

How much of it is because I'm here in the past reliving my life as my own twin. As a girl... which is still awkward and as soon as that thought passes through my mind I stumble.

Tripping over my own feet and faltering to catch my balance actually grimacing because that was not my best moment at all. Obito's humming and something about the tune catches my attention forcing me to spin around wide eyed to stare as he falls and...

Lands on his hands straightening his back and just balancing there.

It's strange in that moment. Everything is still as he closes his eyes and grins before lowering himself back to his feet and I have to wonder. Despite the fact that he's weaker than me, despite the fact that he's so obviously different and lagging behind. How much stronger will he become as we grow.

Is this what attracted Madara's attention to me in my first life?

Because Obito is so happy just doing things, moving his body in stretches and almost katas that just don't make any sense but work. That we haven't been taught and doing stuff like balancing on his hands for no reason other than the fact that he can.

Is that why Madara wanted me?

Is that why Kuro targeted me?

Is it?

If it is then that's terrifying. And I can actually vaguely remember doing stuff like that. Except in different situations and contexts. It's enough to put me off balance again and for the continuation of our practice I pay more attention to Obito than I do our stretches because he's really doing things that just... they don't match really and I don't entirely understand how he's able to just do them.

I don't understand.

Obito seems to be particularly fond of doing handstands, and then he actually keeps going. I want to catch him but he actually manages to stretch himself to flip up on his feet. He's got this huge shit eating grin on his face and all I can do is scowl at him. Because that was terrifying. He goes up and then when he kept going had he hit the ground.

He could have really hurt himself.

"Baka Otouto!" I hiss at him and he laughs before responding.

"Kyoudai I wasn't in any danger, you would have caught me!" Yes I would have, but that doesn't justify what he was doing. He seems to get that and rolls his eyes before sticking out his tongue. "Yeah, yeah. Don't worry about it Kyoudai."

"I'm allowed to worry" I snap at him and he snorts before running a hand through his hair and frowning. "No really Obito I'm allowed to worry. After all, I'm the toshiue kyoudai." I say and I don't even have to look at him to know that he's rolling his eyes.

The rest of our training session is spent in silence. As soon as it's over Obito disappears and I could easily find him again. But, I don't feel like seeking him out. So instead I trot down to the kitchen and dig around in the fruit bowl for something that I can just munch on. I end up selecting a simple apple and rub it against my shirt before biting into it annoyed.

I don't entirely understand him. He's me, but not and as time wears on I begin to wonder whether or not he even is me.

Calligraphy and books rather than running around and chasing imaginary figures.

And that's only the tip.

 _If you do choose to go back. Things will change._

Rin? I almost drop my apple at the voice and look around confused before blinking and deciding that I'm just hearing things. I take another bite and think about my otouto, about his differences and the fact that he feels like maybe... maybe he's not quite me.

Maybe he's just like me.

But if he is just like me... then who is he?

 _ **Who is he?**_


	5. Chapter Four

Chapter Four: Rebirth Revelation

"I know that you're like me!" The words make me freeze, and there's a chill that races up and down my spine. I almost don't want to look at my beloved otouto. I don't want to look at the one who I've grown to care for and love and... The one who I want to protect.

I don't want to believe the words that are falling out of their mouth. The words that have been starting to drift through my own head over the course of our third(now forth) year of life. I don't want to hear them, I don't want to admit that they're true and believe them. Because he's supposed to be innocent. Obito's supposed to be untouched and pure. Everything that I'm not, and everything that I could protect.

I don't want to hear the words. I don't want to know that he's not, but they continue.

"You were reborn as well." It's so quiet and I spin around to face him. I can't stop myself. I want to scream at him, ask him to stop. To just _let me keep pretending_ but I can't because he continues to speak. To tell me what I already know but don't want to actually face. "But unlike me you know already. You know this world. You know this place!" A smile stretches over his face, and I can see the mockery that it contains, especially as he stretches out an arm to gesture to the world around us.

To the world that we live in.

And that actually hurts a bit, but not enough to truly break through the sheer _fear_ and _uncertainty_ that I feel about this whole situation. I swallow and lick my lips a bit before asking.

"H-how?" How does he know? And I look around our shared room, and then out and up at the moon carefully not meeting Obito's eyes.

"It's not too hard. After all. I was reborn as well. From that per-spac-tive it's easy." It should have been so easy. I'm a shinobi, a _shinobi who was a Nukenin_. And I was trained by Uchiha Madara himself, and... "Also, you're hor-ri-ble at being a child."

"Yeah well..."

"Are you a boy?" I splutter having gotten cut off before I could really find the words to try and defend myself. I didn't think that my acting skills were that bad. In fact, I thought that they were pretty fantastic. After all, no one expected _Obito_ to be behind the mask of Tobi, or the mask of Uchiha Madara. "Because I was a girl previously... Or at least I think so... I never quite felt like one. And now I don't quite feel like a boy." And that makes me stop and I finally look back at him.

Obito's hands are curled into the blankets covering him, and he has such a serious look on his face. He genuinely wants to know... and also, he's a _girl?!_ I awkwardly clear my throat and flush a bit averting my eyes from her(is that even correct, this is so awkward).

"Y-yeah... I was a boy..."

"Then you're still a boy" I can't even respond to that as something in my head just seems to screech and slam into a wall. "If you believe that you are... I don't judge. I mean... I don't even know what I am..."

How can he not know...

I stare rather gobsmacked, because how can she(he, they?) not know? How is that possible, wouldn't you just be able to know what you are. Something curls through me as I was my toshishita kyoudai awkwardly shift in their blankets and then scratch a hand through their hair. I actually feel sorry for them, because at least I know that I'm a boy. Genitals and body problems or not.

"I mean... It's not like I care really." That explains so much... and nothing at all. It's so strange to consider it though. "Besides... Why does it even matter that you don't match?"

And there's my awkward toshishita kyoudai that I know and love. Although that's still weird, are they non-binary or something like that? I don't think that I've ever met a non-binary shinobi before. Or just a person like that. Sure I've met a few transgender people, and now I'm one but never a non-binary person.

That's interesting.

"Wait... So you're accepting that I'm a boy? And you're non-binary or something?"

Obito's reaction is not what I'm expecting. Everything about their expression darkens and they bare their teeth at me in response. Hands that twitch and fist the blankets as they glare at me and hiss their response.

"No! Never non-anything! It feels... It feels..." I gulp as they growl in frustration unable to find the words to properly explain. "Just no... Not non-binary."

"You..." I falter as their expression snaps back to me, eyes flickering with something. "You sounded rather scary there..." Obito blinks and their eyes soften, face and expression shifting to apologetic.

"Yeah well..." They shake their head and sit up before moving over from their futon to mine. "I always had some trouble with my temper" That made two of us then... maybe. Except that they didn't really lose it. Awkwardly they laugh and then we fall into silence between us.

How do I respond to this revelation?

Where will we even go from this point?

I notice Obito twitch and slowly they slide from their spot beside me and silently slink out of the door and down the hall. Probably to spend some time meditating on this revelation. On the confirmation really since we both already knew. We both knew, for different reasons and in different ways.

Neither of us likely really wanted to face that fact though.

I take a deep breath and stand up off the futon and look out the window and up at the moon again. And it's strange, because I know what the moon is.

The Jubi's shell. Kaguya's prison and yet. The moonlight is still comforting in it's own strange way. I close my eyes for a moment to just bask in it as it slides over my skin and my breathing evens out.

And when I open my eyes I step back and into the center of the room where I kneel. I clasp my hands together and wait. My kyoudai opens the door, in their hands is a glass of water. So fragile like this new found relation between us.

Easily broken, and then what will we do? What will we be?

"We're going to need to talk about this aren't we?" They speak carefully, maintaining a blank expression on their face as I nod. "So where do we begin? With our deaths..." Obito trails off and I grimace. Yeah it's best not to remember that mess. And which death would I even explain. My first one at thirteen or my more permanent one at the true end of my life.

The one that happened when I finally saw the light again after years of drowning in darkness.

Yeah that wouldn't end well either way. Admit to dying at thirteen and I'll probably get pity. Admit to the second and the response will be horror. Terror and fear and what if Obito rejects me? I shudder and speak against the idea.

"How's about we not."

"Yeah... Okay that was a bad idea." Obito actually flushes a bit and awkwardly rubs the back of their head with closed eyes. They shift the glass of water until it rests between their legs and seems to come to a decision. "Maybe just general details then... What our past lives were like... Enjoyed and didn't. Maybe a bit about where we lived." A sip of water and I frown... that's acceptable.

"That sounds a bit better. I was an Uchiha... Previously, so to be reborn as one again is... Well en-ter-as-ting." I frown and repeat the word several times under my breath. It still doesn't sound quite right by the time that I give up trying to pronounce it.

"It certainly is" Obito agrees with me and I frown. Does that mean they was also an Uchiha in their previous life. If that's the case... I feel a weird twist in my stomach. Unsettled and uncomfortable and oh, it's guilt. Guilt because if they were an Uchiha as well, then they probably died during the Uchiha Massacre.

And while I wasn't entirely behind that one, it was mostly Danzo's fault. I killed more than my fair share of our extended family. Of the Clan and those who lived in it at the time.

I spot the expression on Obito's face then. Horror and a realization and it only takes a small leap of logic to realize what they're freaking out about. Puberty... from the other side. I blanch and shudder at the thoughts. Trying to push them away because oh dear kami no, that's too fucking awkward.

"Um... My old world operated more with tech-nol-o-gy" Obito breaks the awkward silence with an even more awkward sentence. And there's a thrill of relief that rushes through me as they speak. They're not from our world, not from this world. I didn't kill them... or Itachi didn't kill them. "Everyone had laptops and ipads..."

I listen as they talk. Of younger siblings and a sky full of stars and potential. Of canine companions that they could love and care for. Of games that I've never heard of and ideas that I never even thought were possible. Of mechanical vehicles that roared along roads and transported civilians. Of a mother who loved so much, and a Nana to snuggle with.

And I see the point where they start to break. Overcome with their memories and the emotions stirred up by them.

They break.

Awkwardly I move to stand beside them and... I honestly don't know what to do. I reach out and rub their back unsure whether or not that's the proper response. I just don't know, because I lost contact with people. And never really had anyone to truly show me how.

The glass is tipped over, and I find my eyes following the spread of the water over the tatami mat.

We're both a mess in our own ways aren't we.

"No use... No use crying over spilt milk..." I hear Obito mutter as they uselessly rub at their eyes. That never works, it just makes more come. "I miss them... I miss my old life... I even miss the things that I never part-ici-pa-ted in. Like wearing dresses"

"Heh... At least you didn't die twice." What am I doing? Obito's head snaps up and I've already put my foot in my mouth so I might as well take it all the way. "I did mention that I was an Uchiha right? Well the first time I died as a hero... The second I was the villain to the whole world." Okay that's vague enough to work. I don't have to really explain anything there.

Good, don't let them lose the innocence that they still have.

Don't let them understand how dangerous this world truly is. Especially when it regards who they are and who they could be. I can still protect them. They stare at me for a long while, and as they keep staring I begin to get more nervous. Until they finally shrug.

"Fair enough. I'm not even sure if I really died after all."

"How can you not know if you died or not." I ask unable to keep the bewilderment out of my voice. After all it should be easy to tell whether you died or not... right?

"Because I was just getting ready for NaNoWriMo... The abruptly I was yanked out of my own body as it continued... And now I'm here." Obito frowns and rubs at their eyes one more time "so did I die?"

"I have no idea..." I admit and that sparks a round of laughter. Until they narrow their eyes at me, and I hold up a hand stopping the question before it can really be asked. "No. Who I was previously is not important. Because out existence nullifies that outcome." And it does, because we're different already. Our paths have to be different because we're not the same.

Kuro and Madara would both have to approach us differently to manipulate us. Since we're not naive children. Not like I was when I ended up in that cave the first time around.

Obito narrows their eyes at me, clearly annoyed and all I can do is flash a cheeky grin. I'm pleased with that dodge. Before they can reach for me or try again I'm on my feet and bounding out of the room.

"Tomoko-nii!"

I laugh.


	6. Chapter Five

Chapter Five: Those Who Don't Understand...

History lessons from Obaachan are just as frustrating as they were the first time around. So I just sit back and watch as Obito-chan rages over them. Pulling more and more unique furious expressions than I've ever seen before. It's adorable and amusing and while my history homework lays off to the side half done and forgotten they keep trying to find something anything that's even remotely linear and understandable.

Shinobi... are really not the best historians.

Too many people tend to brag, or write down the basics of what happened. Or just forget to write it completely. And that's not even getting into the contradictory reports like the ones where both sides go away believing that they won the battle. And of course the reports that were shoved in out of order, which include the missing ones mentioning when they found particular members of the clan still alive when previously thought dead. Obito's frowning at one such case right now in fact and I can't help it if I continue to grin.

Also they keep muttering about pride always getting in the way of things. Which is very likely honestly. Especially remembering what lead to the Massacre even being possible.

The clan scheming to actually get some respect. Considering that police don't get any. The butt of every joke, and the ones called useless and bumbling. Incompetent or more likely obstructive... it's just the way civilians react to cops. Probably because the Uchiha Military Police can't keep up. It's a stupid cycle that leads to frustration on both sides and the Uchiha feeling alienated.

"Ne... Tomoko-nii." I blink and then look over to Obito as they raise their head. "Why is this all so bland?" that's... not a complaint that I was expecting them to make. Not really, but actually reading it over, it is fairly bland. Aside from the few bragging rights pieces it's just battle after battle with the results.

And even the bragging is pretty basic, like _I was the best in this fight, better than Uchiha blah blah_ or, _I managed to take on twenty Senju all by myself_. Nothing that's really that entertaining to spend hours reading.

"It's so bore-ing! Tomoko-nii why are we learning this way? What happened to the fun kind of learning?" I blink and stare at Obito as they whine. Is there such a thing as a fun way to learn history? Well okay, when the image of humanized countries arguing in a conference room springs to mind I can imagine that there might be... But that would be weird...

Would it be a humanized form of the Clan... like a single person representing the whole clan?

Weird...

Obito abruptly springs to their feet, a huge grin crossing their face and internally I freak out. That's not a good look but before I can stop them, they're already at the cupboards and pulling out the calligraphy supplies. What in the world do they think they're doing? This isn't calligraphy class, this is the boring history class where we try to make sense of out of order reports that were pulled out of the archives...

"I might as well make my own fun way!" Obito cheerfully says pulling one of the sheets in front of them. As they dip a brush in the ink I move swiftly to settle right beside them. Catching their wrist I frown as they look at me with wide innocent eyes. Damn it, why do they have to be innocent even with a previous life... that's not fucking fair. "Tomoko-nii it'll be fine. I'm just timelining!"

"If you say so..." I really don't trust that though. Considering it'll likely only take a couple of minutes for them to get caught up in their imagination and then they'll be off in the clouds painting some completely random pattern of words and crafting a whole new form of storytelling and possibly sealing.

Not that I can blame them.

I mean it's kind of hard when there's just so much that goes on in our heads. So much that bounces around and distracts us and... Even I get caught up sometimes, and just sort of meander in another direction because I'm more interested in understanding how and why something works than staying focused.

Kirigakure was a mess, also the Kekkei Genkai purges were some civilian thing... I probably should have done something about them... but _Kiri killed Rin_.

Eventually Obito pulls up their shirt and silently screams into it. I snicker and cover my mouth with my hands as they narrow a half glare at me before returning to their futile attempt to learn something, _anything_ from the papers spread out around them.

There's a reason that I didn't really recognise Madara beyond the fact that he was my ancestor upon initially meeting him... Shinobi really aren't good historians. So much is lost, or just forgotten and there's also the fact that we don't really keep records... Oh they're there somewhere but as this 'lesson' proves we don't really care to really teach it.

Unlike Obito's previous world... with history books and lessons, an entire channel just for history on the television.

Shinobi trade in secrets...

Obito-chan tosses their hands into the air and frustrated just scribbles onto their sheet before pushing it away and crossing their arms. I grin and they narrow their eyes just that little bit further at me before huffing and glaring at the paper instead.

"Ne... Tomoko-nii... It's all so con-tra-dic-tory." I snort slowly putting down the scroll that I had absently been fiddling with.

"Yeah, probably why I didn't even bother with it. Just wait until we're actually in the Academy, it'll be even worse!" It really will, why is history so bad? I mean there's actually a saying that Obito brought with him, that rings so painfully true in the face of all this.

Those who forget their history are doomed to repeat it.

I mean seriously, nobody figured out that Naruto was Minato-sensei's son, and I was able to masquerade as _Uchiha Madara_ with little trouble... Well except regards to people from the older generations... but still.

Shinobi don't do history, I don't know how much better our civilian counterparts are either... since so much history would be from the shinobi side of things anyway. Obito's grimace tells me that they must have realized the same thing. I'm amused by it, they're not...

"It's all supposed to be at least linear!" They wave their arms as they whine before glaring at a particular sheet. "And nobody should be able to die twice in that way!" I roll my eyes after a quick glance and remind them of my own status.

"I did"

"Yeah, but that was years into the future. Also you were kidnapped and brain-washed... Along with the fact you kept your continued existence a secret. It doesn't count"

"Yes it does!" I growl my hands fisting just ever so slightly as I argue.

"No Tomoko-nii. It doesn't." I open my mouth to respond as Obito hums before adding "And neither do our rebirths." My mouth snaps back shut with a click and I grit my teeth. "So it doesn't count at all" It's with that air of finality. End of conversation, end of argument and I loathe it. "And anything that the old man told you is suspect by default anyway... Memory fails if left long enough after all."

Okay that's true enough, I stiffly nod my head before flopping onto the tatami floor.

"I know... It can also be tampered with..." my voice is quiet. I just had to remember those things and the mind games. The subtle weaving to the point that I'm not always able to remember. Sure it could have been blamed on head trauma but at the same time.

Can you remember going to a beach, or a place that apparently never existed?

Or even being someone else completely... so many stories and to the point where sometimes I just forgot... _Obito who's he?_

"Hate those a-bom-i-na-tions." Obito growls, his hands clenching and unclenching as they try to pretend that they've got control. And, I shiver remembering the plant beings, the Zetsu creations of Kaguya's will and the Infinite Tsykuyomi. Victims, spies scattered around the world.

But mostly Kuro is the one that scares me, who I really hate.

Yeah, well...That's something that we can agree on. They're weird and creepy and..."

"Fertilizer. Eldrich Horrors." I can only rapidly blink in response and futilely try to formulate some kind of response to that. "They're kind of stupid as well. How far back do you think the rabbit hole runs?"

I don't answer, instead letting us lapse into silence. It's not something that comes naturally to either of us really. Being silent that is, we're both loud and proud, filled with energy when alone with people that we trust and know respect our boundaries.

It's a good thing Obaachan isn't home currently to get worried about our sudden silence.

 _"Do you think that maybe they're connected to the Slender Man Mythos of my old world?"_ The question makes me suck in a startled breath, because I know the myths and legends that Obito is referencing. The faceless being in the shadows, and imagining Kaguya and Kuro related to that...

 _"I don't even know! It might be interesting to see..."_ might be interesting to imagine and I can't quite keep my voice normal. Abruptly I raise back up onto my feet and pull Obito up with me. They grin and follow as I practically drag them out into the quiet yard. _"Trees right... And tall..."_ I say looking back at them as they peer at the tree in the center of our yard.

Honestly it's kind of ominous really, with it's empty branches and the complete absence of any sort of movement.

 _"Slenderman, Slenderman! All the children try to run! Slenderman, Slenderman! To him it's part of the fun!"_ I can't help but shiver as Obito opens their mouth somewhat automatically and sings that haunting tune. Icy chill the wind whips up, a cold snap that makes the branches over head tremble.

I can see Obito opening their mouth to continue and quickly hold my hand over their mouth. Eyes wide I turn to them almost desperately hoping that they would concede the point and stop.

 _"That's creepy Obito..."_ Especially when I'm staring into such wide, and _innocent_ eyes. As if they don't know exactly what connotations that the song carries.

" _I know... But also cool right"_ I have to smile, bemused but in a bit of agreement. I suppose that it is also pretty cool, mainly that they remember it. Also the fact that we share this language, the one from their past life.

The one that seems to help our connection grow. To bleed through into shared dreams, mere glimpses into who we are and were. Even if in those dreams we share our physical real forms.

Makes me wonder how accurate the description of being reborn really is. Are we adults, or merely children with extra memories? Either way these dreams show us as we are, the childish forms, our current diminished bodies.

" _Yeah... I guess that it is."_ My smile strains and Obito's eyes crinkle before they look away. Taking a deep breath and... I don't know what they feel or see but their side of the connection just bleeds wonder and awe, some strange sense of peace and safety as they find something in the yard that I just can't see. That I can't feel. And their smile softens, eyes slipping just slightly shut and...

This is what I have to protect, from Kuro, from Madara and all the others. Because Obito sees the world different and they get absorbed in these feelings. These sensations that make the bond that we share just sing and hum with comfort and safety and...

I don't think that they even realize how these calm moments feel to me.

How their synchronization with some otherworldly feeling in the air feels. How their harmony with nature feels. How much I want, _need_ to protect that.

 _"You feel it as well don't you? History, life, death, rebirth... The world watches and it waits... Until it all resets once more!"_ And they laugh, light and free and just so abrupt.

There might be a touch of insanity in their laughter as well but I can't help it. I join in, throwing my head back and laughing because it's these moments that we both can enjoy. That we can both find peace in and calm and...

Eventually the laughter patters away and we both rest on the ground facing the sky. Watching the clouds through the branches and I can almost understand why the Nara would always enjoy their cloudgazing. It's... it's really peaceful to just watch the clouds as they go back, lazily rotating in the sky.

Eventually I roll back over and poke Obito.

They blink and smile at me and I sigh before speaking my line. "Hey... We should get back to studying the Clan history. Obaachan will be home anytime now."

They blink again and minutely nod their head before returning their gaze skywards. I merely sigh and allow myself to roll my eyes. They're probably caught up in all that they can feel. All that they can understand and know in a different way.

Maybe it's because they're from another world, another time and place. Maybe it's because they're not from here and they have the out of context viewpoint that would allow them to just...

"Is this ninshu?" The whispered question makes me pause before I dramatically sigh.

But... it makes me wonder because...

I never really thought about it before... and what my toshishita kyoudai feels, the way they experience the world... Could it be ninshu? Could that naturally be using ninshu? Could I have been doing that as a small child the first time around...

I actually have to wonder because in many ways even now that I know... I still regularly refer to them as my younger self... Possibly they were me already, it's just now they retained the memories...

Ninshu huh... I wonder...

Does that have merit?


	7. Chapter Six

Chapter Six: Doomed to Repeat

I don't have nightmares... not really.

I mean I do have dreams, caught up in Obito's past life memories but I don't experience these dreams the same way that they do. Or at least not as severe. I find that I can't breath, that everything is wrong and I can't breath and the world is pushing down on me forcing me to curl and clutch at my chest but...

It's distant, like I'm not quite there and it's just an automatic response with the sharpness of pain with every breath and the struggle to just suck in a breath and hold it... like it's not really happening and I'm just an observer in someone else's body just barely feeling it on the fringes of awareness.

It's painful, but not in the same way because...

I know these are Obito's experiences. Obito's memories. And it makes me worry because what kind of life did they live with constant pain in the chest, in the back, in the head. Just pain all around and I can't do anything to ease it in the dreams as it pulls them down and strangles them like hands in a vice around their throat, like a sword that's stuck in their chest and rocks that press down and make it feel like their ribcage is about to splinter and just collapse in on itself...

How is this their previous life.

Yet I awaken to screams, loud, piecing terrified screams. My breath still caught in my throat and a weird pressure in my chest that pushes down and make cough to try and release it. Wheezing as I struggle to catch it.

That's how the dreams affect me the most, shortness of breath and struggles upon awakening. As if with each one my life is slipping away and my health is being compromised and weakened. As if this is my punishment for my previous sins...

I can still hear Obito screaming and I kind of half moan as I roll out of the bed and land on all fours. For a moment I catch the smallest glint of gold under the bed and I freeze before calming down.

There's nothing there... there's nothing there...

I struggle to push myself to my feet and I use the wall as support with one arm curling around my chest as I cough some more. It still hurts, throbbing with some distant pain that's now there, and it's not something that I can really ignore. My legs wobble as I walk down the hall hearing my toshishita kyoudai sobbing.

Hearing the pain and fear and...

I awkwardly hover in the doorway. Allowing my arm to drop down, the pain in my chest dulling and easing but not quite leaving. I can't quite bring myself to properly enter the room quite yet though. Instead allowing Obaachan to comfort Obito.

I know that if I go in they'll notice. They'll see straight away the pain that I'm hiding.

Exactly like Rin does, did, will... Exactly the same way, because they know, and they can see right through the paper smiles and forced calm and pretending that I'm okay when I'm already broken and shattered and... I wince glad that neither of them are looking my way before quickly rubbing my chest.

It might be remnants of Madara's training actually.

Don't let them see even a hint of weakness, use it to drive yourself further... Don't let it slow you down, don't let others see because they'll use it against you. Don't show any weakness, don't let yourself feel weak, get angry, get mad and use those... He... He really wasn't in the right place I don't think. Not after years in that cave.

I can't believe that I actually went along with his scheme now... Because it seems so strange and weird and...

I was an only child...

I didn't have a twin, I didn't grow up with nightmares of two different lives that overlapped and melded together. I didn't have that, I was just Obito the dead last of their class... though that doesn't mean all that much when we were all war children. When I still managed to graduate with the majority at the age of nine, when I was _one of the few who could keep up with Hatake Kakashi_.

But this is different, the status has been shaken up.

"Don't go..." I startle as I hear Obito's voice so quiet. So soft, so far removed from their usual loud and happy voice. So distant from the energy that it usually contains... And... I creep forwards, the pain in my chest ignored but not forgotten as I try to offer a small bit of solidarity to them. "Please don't go... Don't leave me alone"

Obaachan gently rests them back into their bed and I easily slide around to snuggle with them. Curling just a touch into them. Offering silent support and just my presence. It's what I know that Obito appreciates the most as their form just ever so slightly winds down. Loosening from their tense posture, just a touch more at ease.

I know that I'm trembling though, with the pain coming back and clawing in my chest. Pressure that builds and seeps in making me feel so weak and helpless and... I'm not sure if it's just waking memories that make me feel phantom pain or if there's something more. Is it something real, is it something false... it always eventually fades, only appearing after the dreams and fading within the day... but...

It scares me that we both carry around the others memories as nightmares... Always the wost of them as well.

Still we simply rest there in companionable silence. At least until Obito whispers _"I'm sorry... I can't imagine actually going through that. I don't want to."_ I remain silent as they shiver and rub their arms.

I know exactly which dream, which memory they just awoke from... Exactly which one they experienced.

" _I should be the one who's sorry."_ I grimace as I speak, partially from the finally fading pain and partially because it's true. I should be sorry for so many different things.

I can't forget, won't forget.

" _We both should."_ They say so quiet, so soft even as Obaachan returns with a warm drink for them to curl themselves around. Obito sighs and takes a small sip before continuing. _"You've experienced some of my memories first hand as well after all..."_ I tremble at their statement...

It's true...

I've experienced their memories. But... not in the same way, not quite as clear... although if it were would I be waking with screams, or would I be waking with even worse feelings of being unable to breath and probably PTSD responses as if I were under that boulder and stuck in the cave with Crazy Isolated Madara... It makes me shudder to wonder and I very carefully push myself away from that topic.

I don't want to even consider it. I don't want to wonder how it could possibly be worse, because it's always worse, never better. Not for shinobi... not for us...

" _Ne... Tomoko-nii... Where did you hear English before anyway?"_ Obito's question startles me and I can't help but tense just slightly. _"Where... It feels important."_ I peer back at them unsure how to describe it... because the experience was just one of those things...

I just remain so completely silent, allowing it to stretch out between us because I just... I just don't want to explain that experience, it was something so off. So strange and different and abnormal even on top of everything else that I've ever experienced...

Well, almost. Reincarnation is now the top of that list. It's not like this is normal and being my own twin, even if they're also a reincarnation... they're innocent and oblivious and learning and...

"Tomoko-nii!" They're whining, plaintive and persistent. And Obito pokes me with one hand. "Please..." I glare at them and... oh, oh no, puppy dog watery eyes. So instead I look away and roll my eyes. "Tomoko-nii. Please, I want to know."

" _Obito-chan... Please no. Obito, I don't even know if I only imagined the encounter."_ I keep my eyes closed, feeling my kyoudai's hands nearing my shoulders and hearing the smallest whimper, the smallest non-verbal plea.

I can feel them still.

I don't open my eyes though, instead focusing on my breathing and considering just how weak I am when it comes to Obito. When it comes to my precious toshishita kyoudai. I would do anything for them, _anything._ It's always been an Uchiha thing, our love is our greatest strength...

And our greatest weakness.

We can't help it. We feel everything so strongly. Supercharged emotions that make us some of the most unstable people, too easily caught up in the storm of our emotions. It's why we're taught to control them... To be careful who we offer our hearts to... that's how Madara taught it anyway... how I learnt it late, too late.

 _Always late..._

I take a deep breath.

" _I don't know Tomoko-nii... Imagination can be powerful... But the accuracy?"_ It's true. Only a small amount of the words... only a small handful would have matched... Not the whole three or four sentences. Not the whole string...

But it's still but a distant memory.

A distant memory, and I can't even remember it clearly... I can't even say for sure that it happened aside the sheer knowledge that this language is familiar and therefore I had to have encountered it before... right?

" _What do you even expect of me? I mean I barely even saw them... They were..."_ And I falter, unable to really describe them. Unable to formulate the response that matched the memory of someone... a boy in strange clothing, a watch and him muttering to himself before meeting my eyes and flashing this cheeky grin... and he'd just disappeared so quickly I had been sure it were merely some weird dream... or genjutsu... _"I don't even know... It was something anyway."_ I finally gave up with a frustrated shrug.

" _Maybe they had a job that they were late for. Hey who knows... That might have been it"_ Initially I snort at the thought before laughing as Obito playfully shoves at me. _"But who knows really... Who knows if English is even a thing in this world."_

Who knew indeed...

After all we're the only ones who use it. Keeping it personal and between us as a shared language that we both enjoy. Twinspeech aside the link that already ties us together. Aside the link that will always lead us back to one another. Aside the things that already tie us together this is just one more thing that lets us know that we will always be siblings...

In a way at least...

Because this truly ties us together. Despite the completely different worlds that we come from and experiences that we've had. These bonds, these links and the English language...

They're us...

" _Ne... Tomoko-nii... These nightmares are like Carnivores... All these experiences... They eat away at us trying to consume us."_

 _"Yeah... They kind of do."_ it's an absent agreement, automatic but honest. _"They blend the lines between us..."_ Or they try to at least, it's a bit hard when we've already got firmly rooted identities and pasts, backgrounds and memories that we know are ours... When we're not about to just let go and become identical aside our genders and small quirks...

It's who we know that we are that allows us to remain separate.

To hold onto ourselves and not fall into the memories and get lost and confused... to not lose what remains of just us.

Obito... S-Class menace, leader of the Akatsuki and alias Tobi...

Tamara... civilian from another world...

Siblings, that's what we are now...

Tomoko, and Obito...

I yawn as Obito finishes off the last of his tea. Bringing my hands up to rub at my eyes I almost don't hear Obito's quiet statement.

"I'm going to be in the yard practicing stretches..."

I nod my head and yawn again. "Good luck then... 'M going back to bed" I state before standing back up and making my way back out of the room. Down the hall and into my own room. Only to freeze.

The window is open...

Why?

Why is my window open when I know for a fact that I closed it. Abruptly wide awake I stalk around my room searching for anything, even something small that might have been out of place. Nothing. Not even the layer of dust under my bed is disturbed and I just... It makes me twitch because there's one being that I know of that can do that.

Kuro...

The implication that he might have been in my room... even just for a moment grates at my nerves. The open window has to be a taunt... or a threat and I bare my teeth, hands curling at my sides and eyes narrowing.

I can't stand this... Because... I know just how dangerous that thing is. How impossible it is to face at this point... Too weak, too small, too helpless.

So I won't forget...

Because I don't want to doom the world to a repeat...

"I won't let you..." I growl closing the window with a loud thud. "I promise that I won't let you... You're not going to get my Kyoudai!" I close my eyes and I smirk.

" _Not this time Kuro..."_ It's a whisper, a promise in English.


End file.
